Rewriting Limiting Beliefs, One Choice At A Time

Last night I gave a keynote for the Sigma Phi Epsilon UMD Balanced Man Scholarship banquet. During the talk, I asked whether anyone thought they would ever be able to run a marathon. I was genuinely surprised that only two people raised their hands.

On the drive home, I realized why it surprised me. Back in 2012, I completely shattered my own limiting belief around distance running. Since then, I have spent years retraining my mind and body. Marathons feel possible to me now in a way that doesn't line up with how most people see themselves. I have lived in that new belief long enough that I started to take it for granted.

Last night also made me think about other places where my inner world has shifted over time. I remembered my lack of confidence early in my career. My hesitation to step into visible roles because I was afraid of looking stupid. My trepidation about speaking in front of people. Now those things are normal parts of my life. Keynotes, facilitation, leading teams. It’s the reality I have worked hard to create for myself and I am proud of that.

None of this means I have it all figured out. I’m still working through plenty of limiting beliefs. Some I have learned to acknowledge and challenge. Others still subtly shape my actions, thoughts, and emotions in ways I’m only starting to see.

That’s really why I’m writing this. Not to impress anyone or to glamorize “how far I've come”. I’m writing it because the thought or feeling you are carrying today might not be serving you as much as you think. And if even one person needs that reminder this week, it’s worth writing about it.

Last night reaffirmed why I enjoy working with people, especially younger leaders. I like creating chances for them to learn a little more, grow a little more, be themselves a little more. Because inside those small opportunities, our actions shift, our habits shift, and eventually our beliefs shift too. That's where real change begins.

One simple strategy I’ve been using lately is to actively, out loud, acknowledge when a thought or feeling is not helping me. I try to put words to what fear might be underneath it. Then I take a short pause, a few deep cleansing breaths, and let my system reset. The past few days I’ve been wrestling with one specific belief pattern that keeps spiraling into negative, hypothetical “what if” scenarios. It’s not gone and has been punching me in the gut, but I’ve been working on loosening its grip on me.

Slowly but steadily, we can reshape our mental, physical, and emotional patterns into ones that serve us better. It takes work. It takes conscious effort. But every now and then you get a moment, like I did last night, where you realize just how far your beliefs have moved from where you started.

For me, that moment was realizing a marathon feels normal now in a room where it still feels impossible for most. For you, it might be something completely different. Either way, it is worth paying attention to.