I had a conversation with my coach recently about boundaries. 

Where mine start, where they blur, and why they slip. At one point she said something simple that landed hard: My boundaries are for me. Not for others.

They’re not rules for how people should behave. They’re guidelines for how I choose to show up, what I will allow, and what I need to stay at my best.

It’s my responsibility to hold them. Not anyone else’s responsibility to guess them or honor them perfectly.

And if I cross my own boundaries, that’s still a choice I’ve made, even if I justify it with good intentions.

This isn’t just personal growth. It’s leadership 101. Because leaders struggle with boundaries all the time. 

They say yes when they don’t have capacity. They jump in when their team should take the lead. They stay late to fix what someone else avoided. They absorb pressure that isn’t theirs to carry. They teach availability but not sustainability. And without meaning to, they create a pattern where people expect the leader to step in every time. 

What struck me in my own reflection was this: When leaders don’t hold their own boundaries, their teams never learn to hold theirs either. 

And that has a cost. Teams become dependent. Managers burn out. Work escalates unnecessarily. Ownership erodes. Communication gets noisier instead of clearer.

Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re not about pulling back or avoiding responsibility. They’re about being intentional, being clear, and creating a sustainable balance.

They help leaders decide where they’re truly needed and where they’re simply stepping in out of habit, fear, or misunderstanding.

And when leaders hold their own boundaries, something else happens. Their teams rise to meet the space that opens up.

That’s the part that stuck with me the most. Boundaries aren’t about limiting others.

They’re about creating the conditions where everyone can lead at their best, including you.