If your team mirrors your energy, what are they reflecting right now?

I was recently talking with a technical team lead who shared something simple but powerful: He said, “I realized my team was reflecting my overwhelm back at me.”

He wasn’t disorganized or unprepared. Just juggling too much at once. And his team started to match that unsettled energy. Their pace, tone, and communication started matching his. The energy he thought he was containing had quietly become the team’s norm.

That conversation stuck with me because it’s something I’ve seen time and time again in engineering, nonprofit, and corporate teams alike.

Leadership presence isn’t just about what you say. It’s what you signal. When you show up rushed, frustrated, or distracted, the people around you start mirroring that behavior. When you show up grounded, intentional, and calm, they do too.

The challenge is that leaders often focus on what they’re doing — planning, goals, strategy — but not how they’re being. Your energy is contagious, whether you mean for it to be or not.

So here’s a simple practice to audit your energy and your presence:

Before every meeting, conversation, or phone call, pause and ask yourself three questions:
→ What energy am I about to bring into this room/conversation?
→ What energy does my team need from me right now?
→ What can I do in the next few minutes to shift my energy to what's needed?

It takes less than a minute to reflect, but it can change everything.

Because culture doesn’t start with all-hands meetings or mission statements, it starts with what people feel when you walk into the room.